FIFA Movie Flops, Grosses $918 in Opening Weekend

United Passions, a film based on the rise of FIFA to international prominence, broke the record for lowest grossing box office opening in the history of U.S. film, making a whopping $918 on a $27 million dollar budget. $918. 

The real story here is Sam Neill, who plays former FIFA President Joao Havelange in United Passions. Neill starred in the original Jurassic Park, and was left out of the newest Jurassic installment, Jurassic World, which, oh yeah, just broke the record for biggest U.S. box office opening of all-time. Meanwhile, Neill gets to star in the worst U.S. opening of all-time. If you think your life sucks right now, just be glad you aren't Sam Neill. 

But seriously, has any movie ever been released at a worse time than this film? With all that's been going on with FIFA recently, you would think that, you know, maybe they would push back the release date? Releasing the movie now is the equivalent of releasing a fishing charter into the middle of the Atlantic Ocean during a Category 5 hurricane hoping that the boat and everyone in it comes back in one piece. 

Not even kidding, I'm pretty sure a porno starring the actual 83 year old Sepp Blatter would have grossed more money than this film.

Here's the trailer if anyone actually wants to see how terrible this movie is.